Thursday, November 22, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
I work for a soul sucking corporation.
I thought it was strange when, during my interview, they asked if I had a problem with piercings.
I figured it was some sort of tolerance thing and of course, I said no. I was surprised, to say the least, when a gentleman shoved an allen-wrench against my right pectoral and pounded it home with a hammer.
The straw they inserted is only semi-permanent, and twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays, upper management surveys my team and drains us of our optimism and ambition, as well as any lingering hope we may have for a brighter future.
When I'm not subbing in for a jumbo sized jamba, I spend my days serving the public. This involves screaming, yelling, ignorance, and a great deal of patience. I don't know what it is about the customer service industry that attracts the dregs of society, but certainly not ALL of humanity can be intellectually challenged, morally decrepit, and devoid of any semblance of manners. Can they?
The answer of course, is that they can.
I'm reminded of this often, when some chick in a pantsuit latches herself onto my teat and sucks a piece of my soul out of my chest like a central-vac pulls unwanted dirt and food particles from your carpet.
It only hurts a lot, and you get used to it quickly.
I hope that next time, my cynical attitude and sarcastic demeanor congeal and she chokes on it. I mean, I do know CPR.
But for a minute, I might forget.